I’m really glad I’m not an alpha male.

As an alpha male you have a terrible time. You’re always stressed, always under pressure, always fighting to maintain your position in the hierarchy. Somebody’s always trying to steal your alpha female . You have to be butch and dominant all the time and keep people in their place; it’s really tiring. And you have to keep looking over your shoulder because somebody’s always about to stab you in the back or bite you in the bum or worse. It’s just not worth it.

I don’t even want to be a beta male; I’m happy as a regular member of the pack. I don’t get first pickings of life’s carcases (that’s a metaphor) but I get enough scraps to stay alive. It suits me to not be important enough to be worth challenging. I don’t have much of an inner wolf anyway, probably more of a miniature golden retriever.

Being a zeta male – that’s where I’m comfortable. Everyone has low expectations so nobody’s disappointed; what’s not to like about that?

So what about you? What’s your preferred position: alpha, beta, zeta… or status-non-binary?

 

 

Are we over-using words like this? Are you an always-er? Do you say things like…

“You ALWAYS say that”

“This ALWAYS happens to me!”

“It ALWAYS rains when we want to go out!”

“Why does he ALWAYS leave the toilet seat up!”

Alternatively, maybe you get annoyed when others do. Because this is  exaggeration obviously: hyperbole. The problem is that it conveniently conveys inevitability; it’s a tool of serial complaining; it justifies one’s miserableness. Is that a good thing?

What are your favourite ‘always’ statements?

What are your most annoying other people’s ‘always’s?

I’d love to know.

 

Writing your book: the problems you might be experiencing while trying to get on with it

Gerry Thompson introduces his book, the illustrated diary of a year in the wild garden, and reads some extracts, on the occasion of Winter Solstice 2024. Elves, pixies and other special beings were present

Gerry is interviewed by Adam Watters of ‘From Start to CEO’ podcast about writing, coaching other authors and how he got started in the business many years ago

Three Characteristics of Pessimistic Thinking

Dr. Martin Seligman, former president of the American Psychological Association, identifies three characteristics of pessimistic thinking:    

The first is permanence. In other words, regarding temporary, passing events as being lasting and unchanging states. For example, your boss chews you out about something. You react by thinking, “I really hate him,” and you go on from there to think of all the things you don’t like about your boss. Your boss’s reprimand is a single, passing event, but you turn it into something permanent by thinking, “He’s always like that,” and “No matter what I do, he’ll never change.” On the other hand, the optimistic person thinks, “The boss is in a bad mood today. Something must have happened,” limiting the event to that day and not extending it any further.     Continue reading “Optimism and pessimism: #1”

recording of a nightingale singing, recorded by the author:

 

Why does birdsong sound so beautiful to us?

Everyone loves to listen to birdsong, but have you ever wondered why? Continue reading “Why do we love to hear birdsong?”

“Life is a jig-saw puzzle, but they don’t give you all the pieces”

– Gerry Maguire Thompson

I’ve un-deliberately rescued a bird from death by sparrow-hawk. It’s not  policy or anything. Continue reading “Sparrow-hawk: accidental rescue story”

Esteemed magazine “Elsewhere Journal” is carrying a blog with extracts from my book-in-progress “Wilding the Urban Garden.

How to Create an Amazing Urban Wildlife Garden
– what we’ve learned in 15 years

Gerry Thompson

In 2002 we moved our family home from Brighton UK to a nearby town. The reason? – we didn’t have a garden. Our new home had two gardens, neither very large. The rear would be the domain of our lively cocker spaniel Rosa, and the front space would be for …wildlife!

Now, 16 years later, that front patch is a wildlife paradise – a veritable jungle among many houses with more sterile gardens or hard-standings for their cars. So what better than having wild nature right where you live? Continue reading “Our wildlife garden”

Top signs of a modern gentleman today, as required of the modern woman*:

1) Carries you home from a night out if your feet are hurting

2) Calls you in the morning to make sure you got up in time

3) Tells you if your skirt is tucked into your knickers Continue reading “Signs of a gentleman”

DEPRESSED MAN DIAGNOSED AS “BRITISH”

George Farthing, an expatriate British man living in America, was recently diagnosed as clinically depressed, tanked up on anti-depressants and scheduled for controversial Electro Shock (convulsive) Therapy when doctors realised he wasn’t depressed at all – only British. Continue reading “Depressed, or just British?”

dealing with fear, part 1

“A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me; I’m afraid of widths” –  stand-up comedian Stephen Wright

Perhaps the single most commonly admired attribute of stand-up comedians is their  demonstration of courage and management of fear – preparedness to stand alone in front of an unknown, potentially hostile, and sometimes huge audience – risking failure: not amusing them, not being liked, being heckled or boo-ed off. This is a visceral and quite fundamental fear, which feels like it’s about one’s very survival. Not for nothing is a bad comedy experience on stage termed ‘dying on your *ss’. Continue reading “learning from comedians: dealing with fear”

“I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time? When it’s raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, calling out ‘Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! Open the door! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!'”– Jerry Seinfeld

 

One of the chief reasons we appreciate comedians – and one of the major reasons that they can exert influence on us, is that they continually make us think about things in ways we have never thought about them before: everyday things, trivial things, important things, life-and-death things, all kinds of things. Continue reading “Learning from comedians: creative comedy thinking”

Zen Teabags Holistic inc is proud to launch a whole new range of aromatherapy products – for your canine companion.

Woof-Woof-Yum-Yum is the exciting new range of essential oils, specially formulated to please the dog in your life. Remember  though – these are to please the dog, not you! Continue reading “Canine aromatherapy products from Zen Teabags Holistic inc”

“Once in a lifetime comes a book that will totally transform your life, help you find your true direction, and reveal to you the very mysteries of existence itself… This is not that book. However, it is the funnietst, most brilliant tongue-in-cheek guide to New Age jargon yet published”

– Om Yoga magazine

Here are some practical things you can do in order to be better at living in the present: Continue reading “Living in the present #5: concluding”

Sabotaging the present:

We’re often prone to squandering the present moment. Do you ever find yourself doing one thing (washing the dishes, Pilates practice, making love), but thinking ahead to the next or later activity (wondering what to cook for dinner, next week’s Pilates practice making love with someone else), perhaps wanting it to stop, or wanting a process to end, being impatient to get on to something else yet carrying on with the present thing? Continue reading “Living in the present #4”